My hands were shaking as I dialed my dad’s number.
“Dad, I screwed up, I really screwed up. A car hit us. I am so sorry” He could automatically tell I was drunk. My heart was racing as I stared at the thick, black scrape and dent all along the side of my Dad’s Audi. I must have been shaking like crazy, because Christina laid her hand on me and told me to sit down. So many thoughts were rushing through my mind; why did this happen? What is going to happen? Everything happened so fast. I walked over to the passenger door and sat down inside. I started to cry, probably because I was very intoxicated which is why Christina drove. Should I be mad at her? Was it even her fault? I didn’t even see it happen, I was too busy searching for my phone. The noise was what I couldn't get out of my head; an ear-piercing, screeching sound. None of this would have happened if we just stayed. My mind kept replaying everything that happened earlier that night. “Dad, can I please drive your car down to Temple tonight? I can park right outside Christina’s apartment.” I asked my dad, hoping he would say yes since I had no money for an Uber. “I guess so. Be super careful.” I arrived at temple, but the spot I had in mind to park on was full. I ended up parking a couple blocks away, but the only problem was I had to move the car by 7am the next morning. As the night went on, my friends and I became very bored. Our plans fell through, and we all ended up going home pretty early, around 12am. Christina and I were not tired at all. We stayed up for a couple hours more, watching netflix and making all sorts of desserts. Around 3am is when the night took a turn for the worst. “Hey christina, since were still awake, and we have to leave in a couple hours, why don't we just drive home now?” I said to her, not thinking about the possible outcomes. “Ok sure but I’ll drive since you had a couple drinks.” Christina said as she got up and starting packing her bag. “Okay but be really careful.” We ended up on this shady street, still in North Philly. All of a sudden I heard a painful screeching noise. I felt the car jolt, and I looked the the left and saw a large black car colliding with ours. As soon as the other car realized what happened, he took off. In shock, I told christina to pull over. I jumped out the passenger door, and instantly started to panic.
4 Comments
10/4/2018 11:25:13 am
This scene took me back to a moment I had like this. It amazes me when I used to drink how quickly I sobered up when things got serious. This scene also shows how powerful words are, the class went crazy over AUDI!
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Amir Muhammad
10/7/2018 11:02:49 am
From someone who doesn't drive... yet... this had me at the edge of my seat! Oh, the suspense had me for the good minute it took to read this after you presented it! Note to self (and to others, i guess): Never borrow someone else's car.
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Coleman Clark
10/8/2018 09:28:43 am
The start really ropes the reader into the story. as soon as I read the first paragraph my mind was asking so many questions about what happened that I had to keep reading. You also set the scene really well. Nice job
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Ray Cabance
10/8/2018 07:28:30 pm
It is going to be tough to try and change this because it was very well written and had lots of emotions. As a dad myself, I would be wondering how your dad's mind must have been racing to find her daughter in such a situation. Such a wonderful and articulated piece.
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MaiaI will use this blog to write about personal experiences and rewritten stories. Archives
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